"What Will You Do Next?"

I have no idea.

This is why the decision to close my store, Sprout, has been such a hard one. Because I don't exactly have the answer to that question, which, of course, everyone and their mother and grandmother and favorite auntie is asking me. Each time I am reminded that I'm not exactly in a financial position to not have an answer to that question. *Gulp*

Okay, so there are other - many other - reasons the decision was hard. Being a business owner, especially the Owner of Sprout, has been part of my life and identity for the past 8 years. That's mind-boggling to wrap my head around and when I think about the ups and downs and fun and struggles and absolute pride and joy that role has brought me, I get a little verklempt.

Good times were had by all. Like...ALL. 

With that, Sprout has also been a part of my kids' lives for the past 8 years. My daughter is 8 years old, so you do the math. For her the store is like her third arm, which I will soon be chopping off...wish me luck with that one. For my son, the store is like his second little sister- a fun new thing that came into his life shortly after his actual, real-life sister was born. He got to play there and Sprout gave him presents and clothes and playmates. He has spent hours entertaining the small children of my customers with peek-a-boo, Lincoln Log engineering and general affectionate cooing over their adorableness. He has spent many an afternoon cuddling on the couch with our fat old lazy lovable store cat, Macy.

Oh, shit. Macy.

"please keep the little humans away, merrrrr"

Before I'd made the decision to close, I'd noticed Macy becoming less tolerant of being chased by enthusiastic toddlers around the shop, and I mentioned to the kids that maybe it was time to let someone adopt her so she could have a more peaceful retirement. This, to say the least, did NOT go over well. Evie protested strongly that this was a bad idea, whereas Jonah just...burst into tears. So she remained at the shop and now, well, now - dammit now I have a double-whammy of devastation for them: Sorry kids, no more extra arm/sibling AND no more snuggles with Macy.

Okay, so I don't yet know exactly what I'm going to do in terms of 'When There is No More Sprout.' Yet. But I do know what I'm going to do to help ease the disgruntlement of breaking the news to my kids...

Ice Cream, anyone?

It worked before, it can work again!

Two Days of Yes

I asked my daughter a question the other day and her response was "mmmm...I'll think about it. Then it happened again later. I noticed a variation on this happening over the next couple of increasingly frustrating days until I finally realized that she was giving answers that she hears all the time. From me.

Ugh. 

When I took some time to pay attention, I noticed that I say ‘no’ a lot. To be fair (or, defensive?) my kids ask for a lot of candy (no, it's bad for you!), dangerous freedom (no, the park has tweakers in it, you may not go alone!) and media time (your eyes get all buggy and no, no, no!). 

But sometimes they ask to go on bike rides, to go swing together at the park, or for quarters to buy trinkets at the grocery store. Often I find myself saying no to these things, too. What the heck?! For example, if Evie had asked me if we could make clothes for the baby chicks, I would have automatically said no. Luckily she asked Paulie instead who of course said "we sure can!" then dropped everything he was doing and got to work. 

I realized I needed to change my ‘no’ habit - and the best way to do that was to go cold turkey. I decided for the rest of the day, I'd say Yes.

It started out easy enough: Evie wanted a lollipop before lunch. “Sure, sweetie.” Jonah asked if I could help him figure out Paulie’s computer password. “Heck yeah!” Evie asked for a dollar so she could buy something at a garage sale, even though she had the exact same item at home. “Okay, having two might be fun, huh?”

Soon I realized that I had to be really creative with re-direction, because once the kids caught a whiff of this new-improved mom and her consenting ways, they went straight for the gold. “Can we watch Netflix for the rest of the day? If we agree on what to watch and we don’t argue?”

Oh boy.

“Hmm, man that does sound like fun, doesn’t it?” ThinkThinkThink “How about this: I could use some help clearing the debris off the sidewalk when I trim the hedges, if you’ll help me with that, then we’ll revisit this question. Sound good?” And amazingly, they said yes.

I decided to try saying Yes for a second day. I liked the way it felt, once I got used to it. And the challenge of pausing before I trigger-answered the kids’ requests was a nice change - it forced me to slow down, consider, and use the creative side of my brain when I really wanted to say no.

“Mom, can I climb through the back of the car into my seat?” “Sure!”

“Do you think I could get two new shirts instead of just one?” “Dude, YES, that’s the coolest shirt ever!”

“Want me to help filling wine bottles?” “That would be great!”

I have to say, the practice of saying Yes is super hard! It extended beyond the kids, too - Paulie asked if I would drive home after a late night; the teenager asked me for fifty whole cents and if I could proofread his girlfriend’s History paper; some other things were asked that I’m sure I said yes to but I just can’t remember now...you get the point.

It was a fun experiment. By 'fun' I mean it's exhausting being agreeable all the time, but it was a joy seeing my kids' looks of wonder and amazement at this new and improved mama they found before them. I'm glad I took the time to stop and pay attention to what I was saying and why, and I'd like to continue to implement more thoughtful answers to the requests being lobbed at me left and right all the live-long day.

But the All Yes All the Time stuff? Yeah, I'm done with that baloney now.

Finally.

Love Notes

My daughter is all kinds of loving me lately.

I know this shouldn't be newsworthy information, but it is. Trust me. Since birth this girl has been able to go from sweet, fun-loving goofball of adorableness to head-spinning screamer of everything-is-unfairness at the drop of a hat, much to the bewilderment and confusion of all those around her. When I say 'all those around her' I mean anyone who is nearby to witness her acting this way toward me, because by all accounts I'm the only one with which she shares this joyful tradition.

People tell me that she only lets loose with her tirades around me because I'm her mother, and I'm the only person she feels truly comfortable unloading all of her pent-up wackadoodle emotions onto because she inherently knows that I love her until the end of time no matter damn what. And lets face it, that is true, so lucky me!

I never really know what mood she's going to be in when we encounter each other on any given day - sometimes she wakes up happy, sometimes she wakes up ready to collect heads. Who knows why? No one. No one knows why. We all just have to put on a smile, strap on extra jetpacks of patience and hope for the best. Again, I say 'we all' when I mean 'anyone who has the good fortune to be around me during these moments'.

She loves to mash her face against my face

Over the past several months however, Evie has been totally into me. It. Is. Awesome. She tells me how much she misses me when we aren't together, and I know she isn't just playing me because this is backed up by Paulie and her Aunties, who hear the same. She and I plan elaborate Evie and Mama activities, she insists I sit next to her at the dinner table, she asks if she can help with the dishes, she asks my opinion on any number of things she couldn't have cared less to ask about before. We talk for hours about life, love and stuffed animals.

In short: the kid finally likes me! I suspect it might have something to do with my working more, and/or taking a class one evening a week, both of which prevent me from being at her beck and call every moment of the day and thus forcing her to realize how good she's had it for so many years. Win!

It is entirely possible that I am imagining that reasoning, though. She might just be in a 'I Love Mom' phase. As shown below, on both the cover and final page of a book she recently made me:

There was one other page to the book, which went a little something like this:

She makes me 'laght' too!

Now, sure, these books and drawings have been coming at me left and right. A quick look at the calendar on which she records her favorite part of each day reads "Seeing my Mama," "Spending time with Mama," and "MAMA TIME!!!" But lest you think she's just trying to butter me up so I'll let her eat more candy or take her to get her nails did, I found proof that she's being sincere.

Before you judge - I found this OPEN, with the marker still inside of it, and facing upright. She'd left it on the coffee table and I was cleaning up in preparation for some guests. You all know that I revere the diary as a personal and sacred place, but I couldn't help but notice what she'd written:

The next page is equally charming and mom-loving Needless to say I closed it right up and put it away in her room like any privacy-respecting mother would do.

I am going to ride this wave of love for as long as I can - I'm sure it's going to extend from now until well past her teenage years. Or, on second thought, I'm pretty sure it's going to last FOREVER. *love!*

Best Babysitter Ever!!!

When I woke up this morning, I picked up my phone to look at the time, and then this happened:

Now, let me start off by saying that Mikey has never, ever asked me to babysit his kids before, because he knows me better. The fact that he thought my being at work was a good time to test the success of trying out this fun new idea was questionable to me, but he didn't take my hint and a few minutes after I arrived, they showed up. 

I don't know what Mike is talking about when he says it's tough to wrangle two little kids at once - psh, it's a breeze! First, I stuck them in the corner of the play area:

They loved it!

Then I decided to let Liam do some drawing. He was delighted and when I said "are you drawing a picture for your daddy?" he said "Mommy. Mommy!" When I told Mike about it later, he said "I'm pretty sure he likes her better than me." Clearly this is true.

Screw you, dad!

While I was getting Liam set up, Finn escaped from the play area - those little legs are super fast, I'll give Mike that one. He then found and fell in love with the one toy responsible for the majority of body issues women developed as young girls: Barbie. Sorry, future girlfriends of Finn, this one's on me.

Oooooooooh!!

And a horse! With a tail!

I'M IN LOVE!!

In the time it took me to capture this precious memory on iphonefilm, I lost Liam. This is a pretty bad thing to do when you're watching a friend's kids, but I figured since Mike didn't give me enough notice to buy some leashes, I wasn't actually at fault. Still, I got a little worried. I looked everywhere I could think of but couldn't find him anywhere!

Where is he?!

I finally found him. He'd been inside the clothing rack the whole time! Ha!! Kids. 

He helped me pick all that up, FYI

Then the boys discovered every kid's favorite place to play at Sprout. No, it isn't the play area, and it isn't wherever Macy is trying desperately to sleep and avoid children. It isn't with all of the toys - or any of the toys for that matter.

It's behind the counter, where all of my precious worky things are.

Busted!

I decided it was time for some fresh air, so we all went outside to water the plants. It turns out Finn loves plants and being outside, where he can jump off of, and on to, and off of, and on to, and off of, and on to the curb. After sniffing some flowers and doing lots of jumping, I suggested we go back inside. Liam walked in peacefully like the perfectly obedient little charge that he was, but Finn wasn't so into the idea.

"Nooooooooo."

I finally lured him in with promises of Barbie's undying love, at which point he and his brother proceeded to trash the place:

Ima fuck up this sign!

Ima throw all the toys on the floor!

Ima shake this shit out of this machine!

We had a GREAT time together! Best of all, Mikey paid me with cheese enchiladas from Taco Grande! Not that I could eat it right away since he decided to tell me a story about how after he'd dropped off the boys he'd had to rush home to use the bathroom because he'd been really backed up lately and had eaten a bag of prunes with 2 cups of coffee for breakfast and boy had that ever worked! Needless to say that made me lose my appetite because poop stories are inappropriate and gross.

Finn, creating a poop story of his own...

All in all, last-minute babysitting in my store while also working and trying to take care of customers worked out fairly well. This time. But just so we're clear - NO, I am NOT available to babysit your kids. Have a nice day!