Tuesday, July 7, 2015

The Cast

"When it comes to parenting, use what you know"

No idea why that's in quotes. No one said that ever. I just Googled it. Nada. Moving forward.

My area of expertise is making drugs palatable. It's true! Drinking straight ethanol is pretty rough and unpopular at parties. Wine, on the other hand, can be a delicious and classy way to get your fix. Surely if I can get wine consumers to drop forty bucks on Zinfandel, I can get one 5-year-old to take his pain meds. It's all about how you mask the bad stuff.

I did my research (asked the girl at the grocery store which fruit soda was best) and set up a bench trial:

It turns out Strawberry Crush is indistinguishable from liquid Boca Hydrocodone Bitartrate and Acetaminophen Oral Solution, in both color and taste. Boylan's Black Cherry was the hands down winner. So, of course, as I dashed out the door to pick Liam up from daycare, drug him, and take him to have his splint changed out for a his permanent cast, I left the soda sitting uselessly on the kitchen counter. In desperation I hit up the McDonald's drive through for a cheeseburger and an orange soda. I added a full 10mL of his gag inducing drugs to the soda and he gleefully downed the whole thing. Way to go MacDo.

The sedating effect helped him through the worst part, which was having a nurse take a circular saw to your freshly injured arm.

After that she wrapped him up in his chosen color of orange and he is doing so much better. It's like it's not even there. The bad news is he didn't get a waterproof cast. The pins holding the break together protrude through his skin so it has to stay dry. The good news is he gets it off in three short weeks. Summer isn't ruined!!

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