Because Midwest.

Sometimes I go on vacation because let's face it, living in the breathtakingly beautiful wine country of Northern California can really get a girl down. Sometimes these vacations involve beaches, and cocktails, and being lazy and basking in the glorious sunshine all the live-long day. My most recent vacation included...some of these things.

I went to the Midwest, woo hoo!

This trip back to the land from which I sprang was extra fun because I brought along my man, good ol' Paulie who, being the good sport that he is, allowed the kids and I to drag him first to Cleveland, then to Detroit, then to Kalamazoo (and surrounding areas) and finally to Chicago. Needless to say he freaking loved it. And, there were a couple of beaches involved so...yeah.

Because it's summer and no one has time to do things like 'read this blog', I'll give you a Top 5 list of things we loved the most:

1. Visiting Grandpa Janik. I mean, grandpas are the best, so there's not much else I need to say here. My grandpa has a pool, a hot tub, and really nice whiskey. Being at his house is like, well, being on vacation.

I immediately put the kids to work

Also, grandpa's dog Buddy is the Best Old Dog in the whole wide world and I could watch him walk to greet whoever is at the door a thousand times and be humbled and happy at the simple determined devotion of a good dog every dang time.

2. Detroit! Seriously, Detroit. I really wanted to check out this city because I love me a city fighting it's bad reputation and winning. It did not disappoint. Aside from the general cruising around one does while traveling with Paulie so he can do his fantasizing, we visited friends while there. One works in an incredible restaurant - converted from a pawn shop in the Corktown neighborhood and decked out in reclaimed materials - called Gold Cash Gold, which easily rivals any farm-to-table establishment here in Sonoma County. Another friend lives in an old school which was converted into condos, which was kind of the coolest thing ever. The kids especially loved hiding in the lockers outside their door. 

While Paulie and I were too busy looking at maps and street signs during one of our many navigation-fails, Jonah spotted a huge lot full of these freaking incredible structures:

We heart Detroit.

3. Canada! Okay...Canada was actually pretty boring. But to be fair we only went over for lunch - I mean, how could we be so close and not pop over to get another stamp in the ol' passports, right? What was exciting was the fact that I'd forgotten to bring the letter I'd carefully written up and had the kids' father sign which stated that yes, he was aware that I was taking the kids into Canada and no, I was not in fact trying to steal these two beautiful children with different last names than both myself and the driver of the car. Good thing Canadians are so trusting and friendly! We only had to take a slight detour into higher security to convince them we weren't on the run from our sad shambles of a country. Other than that, Canada was kind of a bust. Except for the cuisine, of course.

Can we take a moment to talk about Poutine? Picture french fries and cheese curds covered in gravy. Now picture yourself eating this magical concoction of delicious wonderstuff. You now have a small idea of my joy.

Will you marry me?

4. SWIMMING! 

She is so super badass!

Michigan has one thousand bajillion lakes and I grew up swimming in them. This is a pastime I am determined to instill in my kids, even though it's too cold to swim in water where they are growing up, i.e. northern California. Swimming in lakes is a big part of why I try to take my kids to the Midwest every so often. 

Unfortunately, the water was soooooooo cold while we were there. Like, painfully cold. Paulie was pretty sure he saw an iceberg floating by when we flailed around trying to warm up in Lake Michigan. Despite the look of raw misery on Jonah's face, he absolutely got into that water again, and nagged us all to do the same. Several times. Ouch.

When it was just too dang cold to get into the water, we did other Lake Michigan-related activities, like walking to the lighthouse in South Haven. This requires a photo, of course. Or, several attempts at a photo:

5. Van Buren Youth Camp. This is the camp I was lucky enough to attend in my youth. I was then a counselor, and eventually a staff member. One of the reasons we went to Michigan this summer was for a camp reunion, and then Jonah spent a week there as a camper. *Sigh* *Traditions Continuing*

Oh, man! I went through the whole Top Five and I didn't even get to all the time we spent in Kalamazoo, or hanging out with friends which makes me so super mind-bogglingly happy, or how Paulie got to shoot some guns, or the alligator sanctuary, or the time we spent with family, or how Evie got lice, or touring around Chicago - I skipped Chicago! Jeeeeeeez. Clearly I need a Part Two for this thing. Or, you can just take my word for it that we had a beautiful visit and even though I now need a second job to pay for it all, we can't wait for the chance to return. 

We love you, Midwest!

The Brother Series: Chris

Chris - the oldest of my younger brothers - is a very gentle, soft-spoken vegan who wears old-man pants and bicycles everywhere. When I say 'everywhere' I mean to the grocery store, to the ocean, from Sonoma County to San Francisco, from Argentina to Peru. Places like that.

He grew up in a different, much cooler household than I did. There were things happening there like creative painting of the walls, experimental cooking, and sitting down for family meals. He grew up in Kalamazoo in a funky old Victorian house, whereas I grew up in a dog-pee infested crumbling old farmhouse 30 minutes away in the small farming town of Gobles.

I had a rigorous chore schedule and strict rules, including a midnight curfew on weekends, after which I always had to wake up my mom and let her smell my breath so she could decide if I'd been drinking (um, toothbrush, duh!). In contrast, our dad gave Chris and our younger brother Ben only three rules to abide by for a peaceful household:

1) Always Chew Your Food Well

2) Don't do Heroin

3) Don't Get any Girls Pregnant

I didn't think this last rule would be much of a problem for Chris. As a kid he used to insist on wearing his older sister Erin's purple sparkly one-piece bathing suit. He looked really cute in it! One year for Christmas, my step-mom was fretting over whether to get him the girl cabbage patch doll he'd asked for, or a more gender-appropriate boy. She asked for my opinion, and because I knew way more about boys than girls, I suggested the boy. Girls were weird. She got him the boy, and when Chris ripped off the wrapping paper and saw what was inside, he went nuts. The kind of nuts you go when you're disappointed and ANGRY. He cried inconsolably about it and threw the boy doll across the room.

As an adult he came to stay with us for a few months, so I sat him down to have 'The Talk'. I assured him that it was totally okay if he was gay, but he insisted that he wasn't. Again I told him that I loved him unconditionally and having a gay brother had always been one of my dreams, he could finally make it come true! Having a gay brother would complete the well-rounded, all-accepting, colors-of-the-rainbow thing I'd been working on for years by acquiring friends and family members from a variety of social and ethnic backgrounds. He would slowly shake his head and say in his very mumbly, muted way that he was not, in fact, gay. Great. So what's the point of having a Korean sort-of brother, a Mexican soul sister, one black and two Chinese friends?! Jeez! Oh, right, because I love them all so darn much...okay, fine.

I guess I kind of believe Chris now about the gay thing now.  He's got this really rad girl that he's engaged to.  She's tough as balls and would never date a homo, let alone marry one. They've been together for enough years at this point that she would have figured it out by now, too.

I've long-since forgiven him for all the hours he spent silently following me around the house, just as I'm sure he's forgiven me for whipping around and screaming "STOP FOLLOWING ME!!!" at him. I've also forgiven him for moving from San Francisco to Madison, Wisconsin. I know! I know. Who in their right mind would make such a geographic switch?! I've been asking myself that a lot over the last couple of years.

The kind of person that grew up dressing like a girl, that's who. This kid does whatever the fuck feels right to him. He is awesome.

He's cold and I will never visit him in the winter, but he's awesome.