Tuesday, June 24, 2014

Summer is Here!

Every weekend morning, around 8am, the boys burst from their room simultaneously and sprint thumpily down the hall to my room to crawl in bed and kick me in the nuts. It's precious. After an hour of that, there's usually some kind of breakfast involving syrup followed by demands for 'The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh' which Finn calls "poop" for short (I'm glad someone finally said it), but now that it's hot out my response to this is "NO! IT'S SUMMER!"

Summer means we go to the pool.

Blue Steel

Pools are generally kind of stupid when you're an adult. You jump in, and then what? There's that moment about two minutes after you've put your head under when you realized you've completely run out of things to do. 

This is not an issue when you go to the pool with young boys. With them, pool time is pure, unbridled excitement. I honestly think they could spend every day, all day, partially submerged in chlorinated water, and their lives would be complete.

Unlike adults, there seems to be no shortage of exciting pool activities for little kids. Unfortunately, most of these activities are potentially deadly, so being the parent in charge of two young boys at the pool is exciting in it's own way. Negotiating between fun times and the necessity of breathing oxygen requires focus. Focussing is tricky when your pool serves beer, and is teeming with MILFs.

As luck would have it the deadly pool activity that tops Finn and Liam's list is holding my head underwater. They could do it for hours on end and the more I struggle, the better.

Even though it prevents me from enjoying my beer and the scenery, it's team-building. Liam will usually do the brunt of the work until he's weak from hysterics, then Finn steps in and employs his patent knees-to-the-chest technique which makes holding your breath extra challenging. While the combination of alcohol and asphyxia may be damaging my brain, I think it's better than them sitting in front of the tv all summer long rotting theirs.

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