Amanda Tries Crafts. Tears Ensue.

Last week was kind of a stressful one and I found myself needing to decompress just a wee bit. I decided that the best way to do this was to give myself a break from studying while at work, and to do some fun crafting instead!

I'd been wanting to make a fancier receptacle in which to collect the money we save throughout the year for our travels. I had a pickle jar, some old maps, and several one-dollar bills so I figured hot damn, I had myself a project!

That was a mistake.

Photo courtesy of someone who knew what they were doing

Now, a quick internet search would have directed me to actual directions on how to carry out my plan. Much like the search I literally did one second ago for the sake of proving my point, which got me to this website, where I found a picture of basically what I would have liked my jar to look like (shown left).

But I didn't do that search. Oh no, I didn't.

Instead I decided to just wing it because hey, how hard could it be to put a piece of paper on a jar and then just glop on some modpodge?! HOW HARD COULD IT BE???

Turns out it's kind of hard. Hm! Who knew?! Apparently lots and lots of people all over the world, if Pinterest is any indicator (yep, just did another quick internet search. Lots of instructions, everywhere) know how 'decoupage' works. Showoffs. No one can say I didn't try, at least...

Kinda lumpy

As you can see, I had some problems right from the start. Gaps and rolling valleys of map paper, all over the damn place! I decided that rather than panic, I should focus on one area at a time.

Kinda stupid and crappy

I tried to fix the above weird overlapping thing that I hadn't planned for at all in the only way I could think of that made any sense:

I added a weird skirt thing on top to 'hide' my mess

That didn't work.

I realized that I was about to cry and, possibly, throw the whole thing into the recycling bin, and so needed some positive reinforcement. I texted the only friend who I knew would humor me - my oldest bestie Jessica. I tried using sarcasm so it would be clear what I was looking for.

She didn't answer right away, so I got more specific about what my needs were. Aaaaaaand, when she still didn't answer me, I knew that could only mean one thing: my project was a complete disaster (which I already knew goddammit!) and she was staring at her phone somewhere, doubled over in laughter and just waiting for me to send her another example of my incompetence. 

I suppose I could have sent her this one...

Finally I heard back, and to my relief she'd gotten my message loud and clear and was generous with her fake compliments and support.

Unfortunately I'd already laughed and cried so much by that point I was ready to give up and just settle for a completely ridiculous preschool-looking vacation-saving jar. 

Mission Accomplished

The end. Finally.

The Great Crafty Mod Podge Puffball Revelation

The other night I was searching for instructions on how to cover our boring switchplates with something not-beige. It's something I've always wanted to try, but sometimes I get intimidated by projects that are supposed to have an attractive outcome - especially those that people claim are 'sooo easy'...smug assholes.

In my search I mumbled aloud "I guess I need something called Mod Podge," to which Paul responded "uh, you don't have Mod Podge?!" like it was the craziest thing he'd ever heard!

"Hey!" I snapped (I was PMSing, for the record), "you said you'd never judge me!" Then I got a teensie bit defensive.  "I'm not, you know, one of these crafty people who just have, like, craft supplies just...laying around, jeez! God!"

He carefully and wisely replied "oh, I'm sorry, I guess that did come out a little judgy, didn't it?"

Yes Paulie, yes it did.

The next morning as I was driving to work I realized that I'd been wrong, though. It turns out that I actually am one of those crafty people. Well, hot damn!

As a kid my family made wind chimes, and our summers were spent traveling from town to town, selling our wares at the Cherry Festival, the Blueberry Festival, the Bridge Festival, the Peach Festival, flea markets, art shows, the Annual Flea Roast & Ox Market (where I met Ted Nugent, who might be the ONE celebrity I've ever met that I did not geek out on) - any event that involved people selling stuff, that's where you'd find me for most of my youth.

When I was old enough I borrowed a little corner of our booth space and set up my own table, making and selling custom beaded jewelry - my 'business' was called Amanda's Beadery. Clever, I know.

As an adult I handmade all of my own cards, cutting out bad or funny pictures of myself or other people, gluing them to cardstock, drawing in unexpected scenes, and adding speech bubbles. I had boxes of supplies for all of the crafting I did, I fucking loved sitting down and getting my craft on. So where did that all go?

Over the years and for reasons I will not mention here because this isn't a freaking therapy session, I lost my passion for a lot of things. Writing, crafting, music - you name it. If it had once been an important and major part of how I identified myself and brought me immense joy, somehow, somewhere along the line, it sputtered and died.

I've since re-claimed most of the joy I'd misplaced, and am once again blissed out by all of that I've got going in my life. But crafting - I'd completely forgotten about that. My best guess is that since I moved from a huge house (where my craft supplies were divided between the kids' rooms, which I left behind for them) into a teeny apartment, I just didn't have the space to rekindle that fire. It never occurred to me to allow myself a pile of fabric, Tacky Glue, pipe cleaner, jump rings, Mod Podge and all of the nuts and bolts that come along with creating crafty things.

But I'm not in that teeny apartment anymore. I have space to breathe again - in so many more ways than one. And things are gettin' crafty up in this crib.

Evie's birthday is coming up and we're not doing a party this year, but I still like to add a little flair to the celebration table. I recently came into possession of a shit-ton of yarn scraps, and I just so happened to have read this tutorial on making pom poms. I decided to try it myself.

I had to get creative with supplies

But I managed to get the right idea

Viola!

It's a start.

Now to go find some of this 'Mod Podge' stuff. And a glue gun. And an exacto knife. And some fancy paper. And...ho man, this is going to be a fun day.