Sunday, April 8, 2012

Tastes Like Chicken

One of the kids at our gym's daycare bit Finn in the face.  THE FUCKING FACE!  I didn't witness the act but I can just imagine sweet little Finn cooing and smiling for the little preschoolers when suddenly one of them leans in and CHOMP!  And right by his eye too!  Was he trying to eat his EYE?!  What kind of fucking kid wants to eat baby eyes??!!

I was furious and horrified for about five minutes.  I calmed down when A) I saw the bite and realized it wasn't so bad and B) took a look at Finn's face and had to admit, I kind of get it.  I mean look at that face.  It looks super tasty!  I kind of want to gnaw on that meaty little cheek right now.  I guess I can't really blame the kid.

Nom, Nom!
Besides, it would be hypocritical to get too upset.  I'm guilty of cheek biting too.  This one time when I was probably five and my sister Molly was seven, I bit her ass.  I couldn't help it!  We were walking to go get ice cream and (at the risk of sounding pervy) she's always had a round perky butt, and I had to bite it.  I just rolled up to her, bent down and CHOMP!  It turned her whole right cheek purple.  I'd gotten a mouthful.  I dont remember my parents really reprimanding me for it either.  Probably because they were sadistic like me and most likely tried to yell at me but were laughing while they did it.

Mmm, Crowned Sikh.  My favorite!

So Finn is okay.  The daycare people said he only cried for a minute and was fine.  I asked Erin which kid did it but she said she didn't know.  She didn't want to ask because she didn't want to hate the kid.  That was probably for the best. 

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