Thursday, April 18, 2013

25 Things About Me (Amended)

Facebook just changed their 'timeline' again. I like the look of it and was scrolling through my own profile
page when I came across a note that said "25 Things About Me". I'd completely forgotten about the days when Facebook was just a social networking tool that helped you get to know people better. I'd been "tagged" by a friend to create the list and thought I'd give it a shot. I posted my list on February 6, 2009 at 1:28 a.m., an hour that I rarely see anymore, but when I do it's for very different reasons than it was just four years ago.

A lot has changed in four years. Erin was pregnant with Liam then, but as they say, women become parents when they get pregnant, men don't until the baby is born. On top of that, men like me regress back to their early twenties for that 9 month period, much to the chagrin of their pregnant wives. I was drinking way too much, going out too often, and acting like a complete idiot (I'm sorry Erin). That's changed, along with a host of other things. In fact, so much has changed since then that I thought I'd give that list a quick update, so here you go...

1. I prefer Guinness over wine. (Still true)

2. When I first achieved my current height of 6’8” I weighed 80 pounds less than I do now. (Now it's only 55 pounds less)

3. The two greatest moments of my life were my wedding day, and the night Michael Davis pulled me up on stage at Teatro Zinzanni to juggle a raw chicken, a loaf of wonder bread, and a wad of margarine. (No. The greatest moment of my life was delivering Finn in the front seat of my car)

4. My alcohol tolerance is epic. (Not as true as it was then)

5. I’m proficient at knitting. (I just finished a baby's hat last week)

6. I’d rather kiss Brad than Angelina. (I love full-lipped billy goats)

7. I believe that George Washington Carver was the greatest George Washington of all time. (He invented peanut butter so that's more true now than ever)

8. I hate, HATE, the word “milk” (True, but not when Liam says it. Then I LOVE it..."meh-oak")

9. I hold a degree in English Literature from a major university and my undisputed favorite novel of all time is Douglas Adams’ Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency (Still true. Best book ever)

10. I’ve had to perform CPR on four different occasions and it’s never worked. (I've also used another one of my EMT skills to help bring a life into this world so that cancels out one of the four)

11. I have never been in a fight. (With an adult)

12. I’m 34 and I still haven’t outgrown my childlike, late-night, “boogey man” anxieties, and probably never will. This means that when my kids insist on sharing the bed with me because they’re scared, I’ll most likely be just as relieved as they are. (Not true, I'm 38 and I don't really have this issue so much. Now that I have kids my fears are real)

13. I was 22 when my wife and I got together (And 22 again when she got pregnant)

14. In 1993 I was one of only three incoming freshmen at UC Davis who had declared “fermentation sciences” (wine making) as a major. The only reason I chose it was because it was the least “impacted” and I’d heard declaring an unpopular major would improve my chances of gaining admission. I switched to English Literature after my first quarter. (That happened, but now I have a wine making degree, even if it is only an A.S.)

15. I believe that the deep dish spinach and mushroom pizza from Zachary’s on Solano Avenue in Berkeley is proof that God exists and wants us to be happy. (God yes)

16. All told there’s probably a good three to six months that I can’t account for. (More like eight)

17. My greatest ambition as a new father is to embarrass the shit out of my kids. (No. It's up there, but now my greatest ambition is for them to be happy *sniff*)

18. My freshman year in high school I was in a slightly advanced math class, which meant that I was in the same class as a bunch of Juniors and Seniors, and this one time I was holding back a massive fart and this other guy in my class who was also a Freshman chose that exact moment to punch me in the stomach. The fart was so loud that I actually, not exaggerating, blacked out from humiliation. (Whattayagonnado?)

19. I am most often likened to Jim Carrey and Michael Keaton (and recently an "Irish Antonio Banderas". I don't know what that means but I'll take it)

20. In college I was voted “Most Valuable Oarsman” for two years in a row. (toot toot)

21. My first concert was “Frankie Goes to Hollywood” (Relax..)

22. I recently purchased a video to teach myself how to breakdance and almost died as a result. (True! I'll never do that again. I want my boys to have a father)

23. I once crashed into a police car. (It was his fault I think)

24. I believe that anyone who chooses to consume a living creature should have to experience what it’s like to take that creature’s life . . . which is why I harvest my own grapes. (Ha! I'm so clever *eye roll*)

25. I cringe when babies are described as “beautiful”. (Fuck no! I love it. They ARE fucking beautiful)

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