I just had one of those "can you come into my office for a minute and.....go ahead and close the door behind you" talks with the boss. Fuck.
I've been screwing up here and there but I guess yesterday was a doozy. I'm not exactly sure what went on because, of course, I just happened to take yesterday off. You know how when someone royally fucks up at work and makes everyone's Tuesday a living hell because they all have to scramble to fix the stupid mistake but at least that person took the day off to relax so everyone can freely curse their name? Yeah, it was one of those. There was a stink of burning effigy in the office when I walked in, mixed with a few looks of pity, which was nice.
My job isn't at risk (yet), but of course it's that time of the year for annual reviews, where my performance is critiqued and my raise is determined. You know how you overcompensate for a full year of dental neglect by flossing religiously the day of your dentist appointment? Well imagine if instead you dropped by after a nice big lunch of barbecued ribs dipped in caramel sauce and tobacco.
So I have to start focussing. After my reaming the boss asked if my workload had become "overwhelming". He's not aware of my ongoing divorce, nor do I think he should be. I said "no" but in my mind I was thinking "YES! My current workload is unreasonable! Sure it hasn't increased AT ALL this past year, but nowadays I need to commit at least six hours a day to staring unfocused at my keyboard. When am I supposed to do THAT?!"
I took yesterday off to watch the boys because our usual daycare is on vacation. I seized this chance for another annual review: one with my doctor. He's up to speed on all things domestic and whatnot at home so he had plenty of questions. Am I sleeping? Am I eating? Am I having trouble at work? Sure I'm sleeping great, just not for very long, I'm eating just fine when I remember to, and as for work....well, maybe I should call him back and amend that answer. Who knows, maybe I'll get a note and my work will have to hire a temp to cover the extra time I need to stand in the break room transfixed on the coffee pot, take extra long bathroom breaks, and "pity-bait" on my blog.