Thursday, August 7, 2014

It's a Fair Fair Fair Fair World

The Sonoma County Fair is in town, and we all know what that means! Yes, that's right: we go to the fair. Woo hooooo! The kids and I LOVE the fair, and we never miss a year. Occasionally we bring a friend or family member, but the one constant is that it is our thing - me and my greatest homies. We have a lot of traditions to uphold, and this year was no exception.

Over the years, we have perfected our fair day and together we are a well-oiled machine of Fair Maximization Awesomeness!! We always go on a Tuesday because of the Too Good to Be True wristband, which covers admission and unlimited rides.I'v e been doing this for years and I still have to add up how much all of it would be if I'd paid for everything ala carte, just to make sure I'm actually getting a good deal. We usually break even.

We start our day out with a hearty breakfast at home because the temptation for greasy, sticky fair food is great and we must resist, if only so the chance for barfing is minimized. The first thing we do upon arrival is use the bathroom, because that's just some weird thing I used to make them do when they were iffy-bladdered toddlers and hey, it stuck, so why not? After that, the kids waste no time in making a beeline for their favorite part of the fair...

...the hot tubs. Yes, the hot tubs. We have to look at and discuss the beneficial features or lack thereof for tub. If you've never noticed how many hot tubs there are at the fair, now you will. They are literally everywhere, inside and out. WHY?! Anyway, it's cute.

After that, we head to the second-most exciting thing at the fair:

The beds, of course.

Eventually we make our way outside, only to quickly duck into yet another building, the Hall of Flowers. Behold! The Beauty! The Wonder! Unfortunately the kids had already seen it, so they zoomed me through pointing out all of the highlights so fast that I didn't have time to take more than one picture:

This one. 

Next, we stop at the Walk on Water feature on our way to pet all of the adorable animals. This is the only fun thing I'll pay extra for that isn't covered with the wristband because yes, I am that mom.

Then we move on to pet all of the afore-mentioned adorable animals. I mean, if the fair didn't have any rides, we'd go just for this, because animals are incredibly cute and soft and furry and oh man. We love them.

We reallllly want a baby goat

Then comes photo booth time. We've done this every year since Jonah was a wee babe and Evie but a twinkle in my eye. The pictures are usually crappy because we aren't paying attention when the light flashes, but they're crappy in a 'ha ha' way, so we keep up the tradition because we like a good laugh.

Yay photo booth!

After that, lunch. This year I broke the One Important Fair Rule, which of course is to Eat All Of The Fried Foooooood! I had my sights on some fried cheese on a stick, but when the food-carnie girl saw me clearly hesitating, she said "if it helps with your decision, those are made with Velveeta." Yeah, no. I ate a freaking salad on a tortilla instead. I count the fact that it's topped with enchilada sauce as fair-worthy:

I am a disappointment to my elders, I know.

By this point my fat pockets had pretty much been cleared out, except for the money I was saving for the kids to pick one souvenir each at the end of the day. By 'fat pockets' I mean that literally, my pockets were bulging with the change I'd been saving for the last year or so, which thus far had financed our day. Wanna piss off fair vendors and fellow customers behind you in line alike? Pay with change, that you first have to count out. It's a hoot!

Well, I AM happy to see you...
but also there's a buncha coins in there

So, with my jeans sufficiently 5 pounds lighter and no longer a hazardous risk to other ride-goers, we made our way to THE RIDES!!! Weeeeeeee! Every year, we must:

Swing on the swings

Ride the Carousel

Zoom on the Silver Streak!
The Silver Streak plays really loud metal music which I've discovered turns Jonah into a raging Metal Head, despite what this photo might indicate. Note to self: keep him away from the Metal at all costs in the future.

Finally, we always go down the Giant Slide on our way out. The line is generally super long, but it's worth it for the 1 - 2 seconds of last-hurrah fun. While waiting, the kids got all goofy and huggy, which was a joy to watch.

Side note: a stranger complimented me on how well my kids get along so, yeah. Proud mama. Until next year, Sonoma County Fair - thanks for the memories!

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