Monday, August 8, 2011

The Circle of Wife

When my wife read my last post about our trip to camp her only comment was "I'm 8 months pregnant not 7 months jackass...".  This glowing review reminded me of two things: a) My wife is WAY pregnant and b) this will most likely be her last pregnancy, at least with me.

Then I realized that her previous pregnancy was never really celebrated the way it should have been so I've come up with a list of ten fun and commemorative ways to better honor this, her second and possibly final, adventure into the land of prenatal wonder...

Here it is in no particular order:

1. Use her belly to serve martinis

2. Paint her belly to look like a basketball then watch her play basketball in a bikini top.  The other team will be so confused!

3. Smear peanut butter on the underside of her belly and see how long it takes her to notice

4. Make a plaster cast of her belly and boobies and take it to parties as a clever serving dish for tortilla chips, guacamole, and salsa

5. Buy her a GIANT garter belt to go around the belly and tell her it's to "spice things up" in the bedroom

6. Add jelly to the peanut butter after three hours

7. Post photos of her on the internet with her majestic naturally-occurring dome in the presence of other majestic naturally-occurring domes

8. Make her belly wear headphones

9. When she says the baby is kicking, smoosh my face against her belly and see if the little one can give me a black eye, bloody nose, or break a blood vessel in my face in some noticeable way

10. Remove the PB&J.....*wink*

While we are in the throws of pregnancy it's all too easy to become complacent.  We somehow lose sight of the miracle happening right here in our very own home.  So I say take the time to honor it...but before you do make sure there are clean sheets in the guest room.

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