Monday, September 10, 2012

Stand and Debooger

Hey I'm getting kind of okay at this preschool gig.  I've been volunteering on Mondays for only a month and I've already got some skills.  Commence the shaping of our future!!

I learned very quickly to always have a tissue.  Always.  Today a little girl held her finger out to me and said "I have a dirty".  A dirty she had indeed.  Rather than take the time to identify what, in fact, was the dirty, I instantly busted out a tissue, dealt with it, and moved on.  I just realized it's still in my pocket.  Ewww.

That brings up another insight...well, more of a resignation.  I used to have nice clothes AND grubby clothes.  Now all the nice clothes have graduated.  If I ever need to look nice again I'll go shopping.

I've also learned that trying to be the "funny daddy" was a mistake.  I feigned a dramatic reaction when one of the boys jumped out from behind the slide and yelled "BOO!"  Now an encore performance is demanded of me every twenty seconds.  "We scawed you scawedy cat!! HAHAHAHAHA".  For the record I wasn't at all scared.  Also I totally could see his feet when he was hiding.  Lame.

At today's post school debriefing I picked up a few more pointers about sharing, positive reinforcement, and something something listening and stuff.  Then the teacher gave us an assignment that threw me for a loop and made me question my pedagogical strategies.

We have to put together a sort of care package for Liam in case of 'an emergency'.  An emergency?  It is to include things like juice, a snack, a nametag, a pack of cigarettes I think, some radiation sickness pills, and a hand written note from Mommy and Daddy.  The note is there so that he can have words to console him in the dark minutes leading up to the annihilation of the human race.

I had no idea this was part of the preschool deal?  These teachers are hard-CORE!  Sure they get summers off but that's a lot of responsibility.  Reading, Writing, and Repopulating the war-torn wasteland that is the post-apocalyptic Earth.

Erin bestowed the honor of authoring this letter upon me.  I toyed with something simple like "Remember son.  Water is Life" or "It's best that you forget us.  Move on" and "Don't be a candy-ass.  It's not true what they say about the meek".  But I thought if this would be my final chance to save him I should give more details so I considered "hey, do you remember in Annie when the first thing she asked to do at Daddy Warbucks house was to wash windows, and then the floors in case she drips?  If you say something like that to rich people it will endear them to you and they'll be more likely to adopt you."  In the end I just said something about listening to the grown-ups that are there with you, and we'll be there soon.

Despite my learning in leaps and bounds like this, I'm still humbled by the bad-assery that is Liam's teacher.  She could command an army, and apparently may have to.  If things do get a little Red Dawn-ish though, Liam can rest assured I'll be there with him, for my own survival as much as his.

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