I just got in a fight with my cat and I'm pretty sure I lost. It went something like this:
her: psst, hey.
me: ....please. no.
her: Get up and let me out.
me: Use the cat door.
her: I don't feel like it. Get up asshole.
me: For the love of CHRIST!! I finally started to drift off after waking up in a panic at 5am because I'd realized I'd forgotten to get my TB test checked and NOW I have to take time off from work to do it AGAIN next week and you need me to go open the door and let you out?! Come ON!!!
her: You know what I just heard? "blah blah blah blah let me out"
me: I hate you. I've been lying awake for hours.
her: I know, I've been right here the whole time. You suck at sleeping.
her: I'm twelve, I will soon, thanks for bringing that up you insensitive prick. Now get up and let me out.
me: I haven't slept more than five hours in a week.
her: Really? I haven't been awake that long in a week.
me: please go away.
her: Look, obviously there's no hope for sleep now and the boys will be up soon anyway so get up Come on, there's leftover pizza. We'll make a morning of it.
me: I'm not hungry.
her: Sure you are. And you're a little hungover too you fucking loadie, have some pizza.
me: Go away.
her: Hey look, it's getting light out!
me: Alright FINE!!
(stomps out of the bedroom to the front door and opens it)
her: Whoo, a bit chilly. Nevermind.
(throws cat from house)