Sunday, September 2, 2012


I just got in a fight with my cat and I'm pretty sure I lost.  It went something like this:

her:  psst, hey.

me:  no.

her:  HEY!

me:  ....please. no.

her:  Get up and let me out.

me:  Use the cat door.

her:  I don't feel like it.  Get up asshole.

me:  For the love of CHRIST!!  I finally started to drift off after waking up in a panic at 5am because I'd realized I'd forgotten to get my TB test checked and NOW I have to take time off from work to do it AGAIN next week and you need me to go open the door and let you out?!  Come ON!!!

her:  You know what I just heard?  "blah blah blah blah let me out"

me:  I hate you.  I've been lying awake for hours.

her:  I know, I've been right here the whole time.  You suck at sleeping.

me:  die.

her:  I'm twelve, I will soon, thanks for bringing that up you insensitive prick.  Now get up and let me out.

me:  I haven't slept more than five hours in a week.

her:  Really?  I haven't been awake that long in a week.

me:  please go away.

her:  Look, obviously there's no hope for sleep now and the boys will be up soon anyway so get up  Come on, there's leftover pizza.  We'll make a morning of it.

me:  I'm not hungry.

her:  Sure you are.  And you're a little hungover too you fucking loadie, have some pizza.

me:  Go away.

her:  Hey look, it's getting light out!

me:  Alright FINE!!

(stomps out of the bedroom to the front door and opens it)

her:  Whoo, a bit chilly.  Nevermind.

(throws cat from house)

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