Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Release the Hounds!

The other night I was surprised to see a series of texts from Mike that I'd missed while watching a very long, confusing movie from the 70's about wheat. Apparently my latest blog post was getting some attention. From people who HATED it!

Man oh man, did they ever hate it. I guess I touched a nerve or two by expressing my opinion. People really wanted me to know what a terrible, terrible person I was for having the gall to express myself (in my usual manner), in my (satirical) blog. There was fist-shaking. There was name-calling. You know...nothing high school didn't prepare me for.

At first I laughed it off. "Wow! Haters Gonna Hate!" I hooted. Then I thought about responding to the most outlandish of the false assumptions that people made, just to set the record straight. Then I remembered that people in this obvious state of distress and mania don't listen to jack anyway, so I just went to bed, because that's what I do at night. As opposed to, say, going on angry tirades.

The next morning the number of views had doubled, as had the nasty comments. I bit my lower lip and said "gosh, these people are pissed!" and then read the highlights aloud over breakfast. "Apparently I'm an idiotic Hater of Children who needs to find Christ and be Saved" I mumbled through my omelet. "Oh yeah?" asked Paul. "Yup," I confirmed, and then quoted "you are an idiot and the world thanks you for not having more children," and "we will eventually rid the world of morons who think and act like you!"

Because I stated that I'm happy having only two children, several people seemed to glean that I hate kids and think of my own as a huge burden. "I feel so bad for your children...Shame on you!" Bzzzzt (head shaking), huh? This confused me. I love my kids beyond measure, goofballs! Just like you! They're so much fun! We read books to each other; we cook and sit down to dinner together; we sing songs and have pajama dance parties; we share chores; we say please and thank you; we do blessings at night to remember what we're thankful for; we wrangle chickens, play catch in the park, and go swimming in the river. Etcetera! Also, not only does my job revolve around and cater to supporting children and families, I've arranged my work schedule so that I can spend as much time as possible with my kids, as opposed to plonking them with a babysitter during what is my precious time with them. But I guess shame on me, I don't know, jeez!

The thing is, if most of my anti-fan base had made any sort of valid points, I might have felt worse. As it was, the crazies came charging straight out of the gate, which made it easier to just sit back and observe, to see what might happen next. Some of the comments were so long, rambling and, eventually, so completely off-topic that it reminded me of the coo-coo nutty rants of a mild substance abuser cracked out on insomnia and looking for a target.

I should say here, again, that I come from a big family - six brothers, one sister. So my question of "why oh why?" is a legitimate one - one I've mused over with my siblings and have asked our mother. I really wanted to know why and how people do it. The big family thing didn't work all that well in my case, or in several that I know, right now. There was a lot falling through the cracks in my childhood. A lot.

On the other hand, two of my realtime heroes are a couple of my sisters-in-law, who have giganto-families. I've told them I think they're off their meds for having so many, but also that I respect them a lot for all that they accomplish and give to their kids. The important thing to remember is that we're all allowed to make our own choices. They question mine just as much as I question theirs. It's how we get to know each other better; how we open our minds to other ways of life.

And, I have to say, poor God! My understanding is that he's pretty busy - leave the guy alone! All these people screaming at me because of some words, and blaming it on him! It almost makes me want to take one reader's advice - "Ms. Janik, with all due respect, you need Jesus" - and find Jesus right away. It must be nice to have a constant scapegoat to blame being haughty and downright mean on. I personally have to take responsibility for my own actions; so if I'm an asshole, it's on me. I'll take the credit for that. Flipside - the bullying by 'good Christian' folks was fascinating to witness. If I can remember correctly from back in my church days, I'm not sure that was a 'Jesus is Proud' moment. But when I look at where it came from, I have to remember that many were just projecting their own deeper fears and shortcomings onto me. So be it.

It's obvious that I triggered something in a lot of people, as the deafening roar of defensive comments shows.  I actually quite enjoyed a lot of them - either for their sheer funhouse entertainment value, or for their logical explanation of choice. (A sincere thanks for the latter, by the way).

Sorry if I pushed a button, you guys. For real.

Finally, this will disappoint the several readers who suggested I should cure my whackadoodle family-size notions by having more kids so I can see what all the fuss is about - but when I asked, my man simply refused to get his vasectomy reversed so that we could try. So despite the "if God wanted you to have another baby, you would" (whether I want one or not) promise, I think that idea is out. "People forget that they don't have as much control as they think they do." Maybe you're right. People don't have a lot of control over what direction their lives go in. But, as I tell my 8-year-old son: You can't control other people and what they think about you. But you can control  how you react to those people, and whether you let what they say sit inside you and bring you down, or just decide to Let It Go, and keep being you. Your choice, buddy.


  1. If God wanted your post taken down then he would take it down. I guess he must want it to stay up?

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  3. FWIW I LOVE this post. I was a fan of the last one too! It always strikes me as funny when so called holy people feel justified in blowing a gasket in the defense of god or jesus or whomever.

    Personally, I generally offer bonus points when those good folks are able to spell correctly and formulate a proper sentence.

    Looks to me like you tap danced on a BUNCH of raw nerves with that other post. This one, not so much. Seems you've displayed "christian" love and understanding that others claim but lack.