Wednesday, February 29, 2012

A Boy and His Frog

Liam has a pretty serious toy collection.  Things like an electric Thomas & Friends railroad track, a water and sand table, a homosexual singing hippo, and enough blocks to build a room that would rent for $1800 a month in S.F.  But for some reason he has only two toys that he can't live without.  And by 'can't live without' I mean I think he literally might stop breathing if they were ever lost or stolen.  He must be carrying one at all times but usually prefers to be carrying both.  And by 'at all times' I mean when I change his shirt he'll switch which hand is holding the toy so I can do each sleeve in turn.  He's a little compulsive.

The good news is I don't ever have to worry about them being lost or stolen.  The former because he seems to be aware of their exact location at all times even when that location is not one of his hands, and the latter because no one would steal these toys.  They kind of suck.

The first is 'boy'.  Boy is a decidedly creepy androgynous little German doll thing that was modeled after the Bavarian version of the Italian 'Castrato'.  He has that feature where if you lay him down he closes his eyes which is kind of sweet in baby dolls because it's like they're sleeping, but with his little 18th century Lederhosen it's likely this feature was added to simulate his need to feign unconsciousness while getting beat up by the Hitler Youth. Boy's interests include, sticking his foot in cats' butts, cereal bowl caddying, and taking baths.  Baths in the bathtub sure, but also in unattended glasses of wine and cups of coffee.  Boy is easily Liam's most prized of the two which sadly is making it very difficult to stage his untimely fall into the garbage disposal.

The other toy is a multi-colored bean bag frog named 'fuck'.  No joke.  We've worked with Liam on this, "hey are you playing with frrrooooogg?".  "Fuck!" he confirms.  Fuck is from the Caribbean and enjoys being saturated in no fewer than four kinds of beverages, condiments, or sandwich spreads at all times.  His bright mottled exterior makes it possible to conceal ketchup, peanut butter, mud, jam, mayo, juice, and even melted cheese, all of which can then be enjoyed at a much later date.  Fuck plays second fiddle to boy except around meal times.

Now there is something very special about these toys that makes his obsession interesting.  The one thing they share in common is that they both belonged to Liam's great-grandmother who passed away just last Christmas.  He doesn't know this.  We've never bothered to mention it, simply because we didn't really think he would understand, and we don't think he associates the toys with his great-grandmother because they weren't in any way a focus for him on the few occasions that he visited her.  We brought them home after she died just as a small token of remembrance and he was smitten right away.  I don't know what this could suggest and I'm not making any claims with regard to spirituality or the afterlife, it could be just that they're odd, or maybe they carry a scent, who knows.  I just think it's interesting.

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