Wednesday, March 14, 2012


Pop Quiz:  What causes sleeplessness, bleeding from the mouth, a mild fever, loss of appetite, and diarrhea? Viral Hemorrhagic Fever?  No, teething.  TEETHING?!!  

They don't tell you this in parent school.  Sure there's a chapter on the baby fussing at night so you give him that cute little water-filled plastic pretzel "cyyyyuuuuuutte! It's like he's eating a big pretzel, hahahaha" NO!  It's NOT CUTE!  It's three in the morning and poor little Finn is looking at me in desperation wondering "Why so much pain daddy? Don't you love me?", and all I can do is shoot back a look that says, "life is pain pal, you might as well get used to it."

So I haven't been sleeping much.  Poor me, right?  I've tried the all natural remedies, special wooden rings, a clean damp cloth, etc., but when things get really bad and little baby Finn is exhausted and desperate, out comes the Orajel and Baby Tylenol one-two punch.  Pa-POW!!  Night-night.  

When Finn isn't hurting it's not so bad.  The only thing we're faced with then is the drooling.  My god the drooling.  He looks like he's been doing Bikram Yoga.  When the humidity is high enough the sea of drool will travel the entire length of his onesie and start soaking into his diaper.  His kisses are extra refreshing.

I'd forgotten about this phase of Liam's life even though it was only two years ago.  He would suffer for about two nights for each tooth until, mercifully, they all came in.  Now he has a lovely little mouth full of the goofiest toofers ever.  He's definitely got his daddy's bite issues which is a relief since I can stop worrying about him growing up to be too much of a sexy bastard.  He'll likely be getting braces some day even though I was too much of a pussy to get them.  I toyed with the idea of us both getting braces when he's in his teens and I'm in my late 40's.  I thought getting them at the same time would show my solidarity, prove my love for him, and make for an interesting blog post but I'm pretty sure I can't blog about my teenage kids unless I want them filing for emancipation.  

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