Friday, September 2, 2011

The Six Million Dollar Baby

I was born with eleven fingers.  One of them was boneless.  The doctors told me early on that, while creepy, such a thing "wasn't uncommon".  As I grew older and learned to understand double-negatives I came to realize what they meant....that it "was common".  Common sure, if you compare it to being born with twelve.  When I tell people this (and it is true by the way) the natural reaction is to want to see it, but sadly the only proof I have left is a malformed hand and a fractured soul.


The doctors promptly snipped off my extra digit when I was a newborn, and I think that was a bit short-sighted.  Think of the untapped potential!  I have!  Consequently if this deformation turns out to be hereditary I won't be so hasty next month when I welcome child number two.  I'm letting him/her decide when he/she is older whether or not to keep it.  In the mean time doesn't a boneless finger seem like the ideal candidate for experimental bionic technology!?  How cool would that be?!  Beating up bad guys and jumping from balconies in slow motion, with your FINGER!!  I'm at least looking into a flash drive or something until the technology develops.  Or he/she can have the thing snipped off, it's not for me to decide.

P.S.  Speaking of having things hastily snipped off at birth NEVER Google Image search "baby circumcision"...unless you're on the fence about whether or not to do it, in which case definitely Google Image search "baby circumcision"

P.P.S  I don't think circumcision is cruel but I never understood the argument "I want his to look like mine".  Are you gonna to make him get the same haircut as you too?

P.P.P.S  Making him get the same haircut as you is cruel.

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